To love life, to love it even when you have no stomach for it and everything you’ve held dear crumbles like burnt paper in your hands, your throat filled with the silt of it. When grief sits with you, its tropical heat thickening the air, heavy as water more fit for gills than lungs; when grief weights you like your ow flesh only more of it, an obscenity of grief, you think “How can a body withstand this?” Then hold life like a face between your palms, a plain face, no charming smile, no violent eyes, and you say, “Yes, I will take you. I will love you again.”
– Ellen Bass
March 4, 2011
March 2, 2011
I wanted to feel sorry for myself. So I did. I walked through that cold summer rain, sulking and shivering and hurting, and I let myself wallow in whatever misery I could find. I knew it was stupid and selfish and childish, but I didn’t really care anymore. I wanted to wallow. I wanted to be selfish and childish. I wanted to be the guy in the movie who’s down on his luck and all alone in the rain, and if I could have had some miserable music playing in the background, and a million people watching me on TV, I probably would have wanted that too.”
– Black Rabbit Summer, Kevin Brooks
Cyclical December 23, 2010
It always fascinated me how people go from loving you madly to nothing at all, nothing. It hurts so much.
When I feel someone is going to leave me, I have a tendency to break up first before I get to hear the whole thing. Here it is. One more, one less. Another wasted love story.
I really love this one.
When I think that its over, that I’ll never see him again like this… well yes, I’ll bump into him, we’ll meet our new boyfriend and girlfriend, act as if we had never been together, then we’ll slowly think of each other less and less until we forget each other completely. Almost.
Always the same for me. Break up, break down. Drunk up, fool around. Meet one guy, then another, fuck around. Forget the one and only. Then after a few months of total emptiness start again to look for true love, desperately look everywhere and after two years of loneliness meet a new love and swear it is the one, until that one is gone as well.
Revenge December 22, 2010
They say that happiness is the best revenge. It’s true.
It hurts knowing that you are happy now without me.
Oh god if you fall in love with someone else I could just die.
third eye 